On a more positive note, I've been rereading Redeeming Love and have been reminded of the God who loves and pursues me in every season of life. I read this passage today and was convicted of being just like the woman in the story: not even acknowledging Him who stood behind me, loving me relentlessly whether or not I loved Him back.
[If you've read the book, you'll understand this passage a little more. If you haven't, please do!]
"Michael stood in the doorway watching her. He had gone out for her earlier and seen her sitting beside the creek, so dejected she didn't even notice he was there. He stood by, watching over her until she wandered back to the house. He might as well have been invisible. She was so tightly wrapped in herself, her own misery and dark thoughts, that she was blind to everything else. Especially him."Just to clarify, there is nothing miserable about my life. Nothing at all, in fact. I'm just learning (slowly) to appreciate where God has me, and sometimes it's easy to get restless. But as I was thinking about it, it never hurts to take account of the blessings of your life to change your attitude entirely. Here are a few from mine that I needed to remember.
I'm thankful for Shawn and I love being his wife. This, by the way, will always be at the top of the list. He is constantly pointing me to the Lord - what more could I ask for? Whether it's praying with me before we fall asleep or asking me what I'm learning in the Word or just encouraging me, he is everything and more than I prayed for. And he is such a servant. I had a long day on Monday and asked if he would mind making dinner. He said yes without even hesitating. I came home to the smell of roasted garlic and he made us a delicious spinach and goat cheese pizza. What a guy!
I'm thankful both of us are employed full-time. This has taken a major load off of us financially and we are finally able to buy shoes and gifts and groceries without guilt. Hallelujah! Even though our jobs aren't what we want to be doing even a couple of years from now, in light of this economy, we are thankful to have jobs at all.
I'm thankful that God isn't finished with us. I have to remind myself of this a lot recently. Life seems somewhat stagnate, but He is always moving and working whether or not we realize it. I can't wait to look back at this season and (hopefully) realize a few of the many lessons He was teaching us in the waiting. There are so many different ways we could go in these next few months and years, and I trust that He will show us exactly what we're supposed to do next.
I'm thankful that literally every member of my immediate family is passionately serving the Lord. How many people are able to say that? Mom and Dad with their music ministry and serving in the worship ministry at their church, Mama and Papa Newby with their music ministry in Germany, Shannon with her art, Erik with his photography and design work for a church (and as they prepare to be missionaries), and Kelsey and Zach who will teach in a Christian school in Oregon as of August. Whew. We're pretty spread out (Chicago, Nashville, Germany, and soon to be Oregon and Vancouver). But we serve the same Lord and I am so inspired by each of them.
I'm thankful for our apartment, that it is walking distance to Anthropologie :), that it is a haven for us after busy days, and that Shawn and I will always hold it in our hearts as where our family began.
Life really is a blessing, isn't it?