A whole flock of sparrows.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Friday morning did not begin well. Within an hour of waking up, I saw a new grade that had been posted that was the lowest grade I've gotten on any assignment during all of nursing school. And it wasn't because I had done bad work. It was because I had inadvertently skipped an entire section of the assignment.

I drove to school with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't just the grade - it's been this entire semester that just won't let up. I feel pulled in so many directions: striving to do well in school, managing a very busy Etsy shop, being a wife - you get the idea. And I don't feel like I'm doing well at any of it. The grade was evidence of just that. I've been distracted, dropping plates and disappointing people (or just myself) left and right.

So on the rainy drive to school, with tears in my eyes, I prayed. It didn't feel like a holy moment of willing submission. It felt like an "I'm giving up because I obviously can't do this alone" kind of moment. I prayed that God would remind me that He's in control. I prayed that He would show me a piece of His heart, that He cares about the little things that are big things for me.

As I drove and prayed and sat in traffic, I followed a car with this bumper sticker on the back:
The Contributor is a newspaper written and sold by homeless people to help them make a living. It's a wonderful business to help people get their feet on the ground. So I thought to myself, "The next Contributor person I see, I'm stopping." 

A few hours later, on my way to my parents' house after class, I accidentally got off on the wrong exit. And lo and behold, there stood a Contributor person selling papers in the freezing rain. I rolled down my window, handed him a few dollars, and thanked him for the paper. 

It was only then that I saw the front of the paper and gasped:
The feature story was about Bhutanese refugees. The same refugees I've been working with all semester. Had there been almost anything else on the cover, I don't think I would've noticed. But when I saw people I've worked with and really care for, my eyes filled with tears.

God reminded me so clearly: He's in control.
He put that car in front of mine (as I prayed, no less) with a bumper sticker that made me think.
He let me get off at the wrong exit so that I'd see that man standing there with his stack of papers.
And He put my Bhutanese friends on the cover to remind me that He is so in control. No doubt about it. It was as if I saw that newspaper and instead of seeing the story of the Bhutanese, I saw His own words:
"What is the price of two sparrows - one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." (Matt. 10:29-31)

He knows me.
He loves me enough to give me the glimpse of His sovereignty that I so desperately needed.
What a good Father He is to me.


  1. it's your heart that counts most... :-) love u

  2. He is so good! Blessed by this, thank you for sharing.

  3. So awesome!! Thanks for sharing your heart!

  4. This was a wonderful read. I almost completely resonated with your feelings of "dropping plates" and not doing any one of the number of things you do well. In fact I just wrote about that too! It's refreshing to be able to admit finite defeat and rest in infinte power and control, isn't it?! :) Thanks for sharing!

  5. Such a sweet post, Whitney... Thanks for the encouragement! God is SO good! :)

  6. Whitney, I'm a Christ follower, and a first semester nursing student. I stumbled across your blog this summer, and I've loved reading every post! I've experienced so much anxiety already this semester, I've felt like I would slip through the cracks of this competitive field,
    but the verse you shared is SO encouraging... God is so good!

    Thank you for being a godly example in every aspect of your life through your blog!


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