A big part of my heart is - and always has been - for adoption. Since I was a little girl, I knew that God had clearly called me to two things: to adopt, and to be a missionary. I also knew that because those were the two callings on my life, if I was to have a husband, he would be committed to those things too. (God has quite the sense of humor, knowing all along that I would marry a man who'd already spent his entire life on the mission field.)
So I know a really common question may be: "Can you not have kids?"
And our answer is: We don't know. We haven't tried.
We do want biological kids, if that's what God has for us. But to be honest, I've never been one who has dreamed of being pregnant or can't wait to have a newborn. I wasn't even set on having my own biological kids until Shawn entered the picture. But I've definitely dreamed of bringing babies home from other countries (literally... I've had dreams about it). And I've dreamed of having a colorful family that looks a little like the United Nations. And even now, I can't talk about adoption without getting teary. It's just so precious to me, and there's no clearer picture of God's grace: He adopted us as part of His family and gave us every right and privilege that comes with being His child and heir. How incredible! If nothing else, I know that Shawn will sense a deeper love that the Father has for us through this adoption process. I know it can be a painful, trying journey, but I also know it will be so worth it.
While we had always thought of having biological kids first, God has really put on my heart recently that if adoption is Plan A for us (just as having biological kids is also Plan A, if that's possible), then why not trust Him with the timing? I think it speaks loudly to our adopted child that we chose him/her as a first choice, and not as an afterthought.
So on the evening of my birthday, I filled out a preliminary application to an international adoption agency that we are looking into working with. We know so few details right now, but I wanted to let you know this little bit of news because I am just too excited not to! This blog may look a little different in the coming months as we share bits and piece of adoption news, but knowing you like I do, I don't think you'll mind too much.
We know this is such a giant step of faith. But we also trust that it's so close to God's heart that He will surely guide us along.