Surprised by joy.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you." Psalm 31:19
On a chilly night in February, Shawn and I had a pivotal conversation during a dinner date about our adoption. He was gut-level honest and said it would be easier for him to picture continuing to pursue our adoption but also being more open to having biological kids sooner rather than later. It felt a little overwhelming, he said, to have our very first child plopped into our laps as a one-year-old whom we had never met, instead of a baby we knew from the start... especially as neither of us have been parents before. I get that. I really do. The 9-month period that you can really prepare for a baby is so beneficial for a mom and a dad.

I told him I completely see where he's coming from and even though it didn't matter to me what the birth order of our kids is, I'd be open to just allow the Lord help us with the timing of it all. We wouldn't be stressed about having a baby, recording temperatures and timing everything. We didn't have a time window. We would just see what happens.

We both felt a lot lighter after that conversation. Giving things up to the Lord does that.

Little did we know that as we discussed this "possibility," I was already pregnant.

I love that the month we began our adoption process is the same month we found out we were pregnant. And I love that God very clearly assured us, in case we ever doubted, that He's in complete control. (Isn't it kind of funny how we thought we were making this major decision about our lives and He had already decided?! He had to be listening to our conversation that night and smiling really big.)


So I always pictured telling Shawn that we were pregnant in some spectacularly creative way. But after a 12-hour shift in the Trauma unit where the smells did unusually terrible things to my stomach, and the fact that I was 6 days late (I blamed it on stress), I took a pregnancy test. Still, I was thinking, "I can't be pregnant. I can't be," just honestly thinking there's no way since we'd just decided to be open to it. Well, as soon as that thought entered my mind, it left. Because within about 5 seconds was a very clear plus sign. (And then I took another test... and another, just to make sure.)
I couldn't help but grab my cell phone - in the bathroom, mind you - and call Shawn on his drive home. I knew he'd be home in 30 minutes, but I couldn't wait. I couldn't stay in that scary, overwhelming, crazy, crazy moment alone.

I said, "Do you know who I just found out is pregnant?" (I pretty much ask that every day since so many friends are pregnant right now. So he just expected to hear the name of one of my girlfriends.)

"Who?" he said.

"We are," I said.

Silence.

"Excuse me, what?! That's so crazy... Wait, really? Why did you tell me on the phone?!"  :)

He came home to lots of hugs and smiles, and later he went out and brought back 3 bouquets of celebratory roses. It was sweet, and I loved sharing it with just him.

Now to answer all the potential questions I can think of...
... I'm due in the Fall.
... Yes, I'll still graduate (obviously) and yes, I'll still work as a nurse up to and after the birth (maybe less obviously).
... I feel great! Tired, some food aversions, but not much to complain about at all. The women in my family have historically had easy, uneventful pregnancies, and I'm feeling very thankful for genetics right about now. I will say that I am soooo ready to graduate. May 5 can't come soon enough.
... Yes, we're still pursuing adoption.
... Yes, I'm probably the most surprised person out of anyone. God's working on my control issues, that's for sure.

We still can't believe it. The timing of it all was so... God. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the Lord who has created life inside of me. What a stunningly beautiful gift.

54 comments:

  1. Congratulations! How exciting to have such a real, genuine, God-given surprise. Enjoy it all!

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  2. Congratulations! I am so glad you feel good about this. We have a wonderful, busy little almost-two-year old surprise of our own. :)

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    1. Thanks so much... I've definitely had days of thinking, "Really, Lord? Right NOW?" as the last 6 weeks of nursing school doesn't really allow time for feeling tired or nauseous. :) But I'm really choosing to believe that His timing is perfect even though it's a little confusing at times.
      And by the way, your son is so beautiful!

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  3. Congratulations! You guys will be amazing Godly parents, your little one will be so blessed! May God grant you peace and strength through your last weeks of nursing school.

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  4. Amazing!! Surprise babies are the best (ours is due August 29th)! Very excited to follow along during this journey! You are blessed =)

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  5. How wonderful for you! Your story brought back my whole experience with adoption and our biological child. Long story short, we thought we couldn't have children, had an opportunity to foster a 10 day old baby (with one day notice so NOOO preparation at all and no experience!) then 3 months later got her 15 month old brother to foster. Fast forward 18 months-we both lost our jobs only to find out one month later that I was pregnant (supposedly impossible). We adopted the two one month later and I never had to return to work-was/am able to stay at home with my three children. God is so good and just knows the perfect timing for everything! God bless!

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  6. i am still so giddy over the fact that i heard this in person - and i STILL got goosebumps reading this post. so, so, so excited for you both! love you and your little family, friend! :)

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    1. I'm so glad we got to tell you when we saw you. :) And your reaction was so sweet!

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  7. Love your little blog..this is my first time to comment, but I just had to! CONGRATS!!!;)

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  8. I wanted to let you know your story made me tear up thinking how Great our God is. This is a beautiful story and reminds each of us that God is in complete control. Congratulations!
    xxx Jenn

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  9. God is so good! I love that He prepared your hearts to desire a biological child first, after so much planning and preparation for adopting a child. Still, you must have been so surprised! I'm so happy for you! Being a mom is the most wonderful thing--biologically or not--but now you have a window of anticipation, and then the joy of an expected arrival. Enjoy motherhood! It is such a blessing!

    ♥ Bethany

    www.happyhomemaker.me

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    1. Coming from a recent mom, that means a lot. :) Thanks Bethany!

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  10. What a beautiful reminder that we are never in control... He always has the best plan. What a huge blessing!!

    Our second pregnancy went just like this one... leave it up to God conversation and little did we know we were already pregnant. Our first we tried for over a year - charting, doctors, ovulation kits. Gave up and went to Italy for our 5 year anniversary... a few months later we were more than surprised and excited to be pregnant.

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  11. Congrats, God is so amazing and loves to remind us that he is in control even when we think we are! Being a mother is an amazing feeling, biological or adoptive! Congrats again!

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  12. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!! How sweet! You and Shawn will be beautiful parents and reflections of our Father's love!! Both to adopted babies and birth babies! Congratulations!

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  13. Sending giant (or maybe I should say, baby-sized) congratulations.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  14. Congratulations! God is so good and He certainly does have a humor! He was TOTALLY smiling when you two had that conversation!

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  15. What a great story GOD is writing! I am so very happy for you. Congratulations!

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  16. Oh, Whitney! This post put a HUGE smile on my face! I am SO excited for you and your husband! What a blessing and gift from God! You will be in my prayers as your new journey of pregnancy begins... God is SO GOOD!!!

    Love & Blessings,
    Jenna

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  17. Congratulations! (In case you might be wondering, I started following your blog when someone recommended it to me because I'm celiac and you have such great gluten free recipes.) Anyway, I am on the other end of the expecting spectrum, due on Sunday (yes, in three days Sunday) and so incredibly ready to meet my baby! I'm wishing you all the best during your pregnancy. It's wonderful to have a relationship with God and being able to pray and trust Him to take care of you and the baby the whole way through--I am still constantly blown away by how miraculous the whole pregnancy process is. Make sure you write about your pregnancy experience, even if it's just in a journal--the time goes by so fast and it's really amazing how quickly you forget what it feels like to have a baby inside!

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    1. Congratulations!!! You're so close! Excited for you. :)

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  18. Congratulations! That's so exciting. :)

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  19. What a beautiful story! God is good!!!

    A prayer for you and your baby for a smooth, healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery.

    Congrats to you an your husband.

    All the best -

    Jen
    sunnyvanilla.blogspot.com

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  20. Congrats to you and your husband - I have worked for family friends who had both natural and adopted children and it was such a blessing to work with her children.

    All the best :)

    Laura
    http://laurasjourney2012.blogspot.com/

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  21. Huge Congrats! I love the awesome (and funny) ways that God works!

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  22. amazing!! God is amazing! Congratulations!

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  23. Oh Whitney! WOW WOW WOW!!! :) Congratulations a thousand times over to you and Shawn! :) how wonderful :) God is so good and you are right - His timing is perfect! Will be keeping you in my prayers - for strength on the last leg of nursing school and that everything goes smoothly for you and bub :) xo

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  24. Congrats! And now think of all the cute baby things you can start sewing! I have just started learning to make quilts, and the first ones are baby size- bacause they are smaller and so CUTE!

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  25. Wonderful news and such a blessing to know that this is exactly what God had for you all. :)

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  26. Awesome!!! This is so encouraging, Whitney. E & I just decided to pursue pregnancy when, a few days later, we found out we wouldn't be getting the funding we were expecting for his grad school pursuits, starting in the fall. I've been a little overwhelmed with the reality that this desire has come at a time when we'll be least prepared, financially. But through a conversation I had with a mom yesterday -- and through your blog post now -- God is really telling me to relax and trust His timing on pregnancy & babies. He knows the moment every little one will be born; He holds that timing entirely in His hands and will provide everything necessary to love and care for that darling baby. :) Yay!!!

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    1. I totally hear you on this... and with SO many transitions coming up in our lives (new jobs, mainly), it's a somewhat overwhelming time to have a baby. But God knows. And I just keep having to remind myself that He created this baby in His perfect time... not my own. It gives me even more peace knowing we weren't even thinking of this baby, but God already was - and He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it. Will pray for you guys as I think of you!

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  27. Congratulations! God sure has a funny sense of humor. I think it's so encouraging to know His plans are not our plans! We too have learned that God's timing is not always what we expected it to be when it comes to many things (including babies), but I am so thankful for His wonderful work in our lives and the blessing of children. You guys will be amazing parents! Hope you continue to feel well and have the strength and energy to finish school and rotations and all that. Hang in there, the first few weeks can be challenging! Praying for you, Shawn, and baby!

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    1. "Challenging" is right. :) I'm sure you know that well. Thanks for being excited with us. :)

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  28. what?!?!?!?! congrats!!!!! how wonderful and beautiful and special. what a blessing!! i am soo happy for you guys!!

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  29. Congratulations to you and Shawn! My heart is so happy for you both -- God's timing is so incredible!

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  30. oh oh oh congratulations!! my heart is so happy for both of you! what an amazing surprise and incredible gift from God :). i can't wait to read more about your pregnancy journey into motherhood - one thrilling and scary ride that is worth every single second!

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  31. Oh my goodness! I was just stopping by to see if you had any new posts and wow! You have awesome exciting news!
    This will sound weird because obviously I don’t know you at all, but I am not surprised, I’ve actually been expecting this post! When I read your New Year’s post I knew you were going to have a baby this year. Holy Spirit intuition or something, I call it my God gut. I tried to comment on that post but for some reason it wouldn’t post. Then when I read your adoption post I was a little surprised but hey- I knew you were going to have a baby. Didn’t get the details on the acquisition. :)
    So, congratulations, congratulations, congratulations!!!!! I am so excited for you and your hubby! You seem like really great Godly people and I think you will be fantastic parents!

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    1. That is too funny... when I wrote that New Year's post, a baby was about the furthest thing from my mind. If you hear anything else, will you let me know? :)

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    2. Haha! I will... but I mostly have a baby detector. I've told a few people to pee on sticks before. :)
      I am feeling boy too by the way!

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  32. Congratulations to you and your spouse! God bless this special moment! I am the mother of a beautiful girl of 6 years! My husband and I contemplate God every day for her life! Cheers! kisses

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  33. Congratulations! What a beautiful post :)

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  34. congratulations to you both.excited to embrace motherhood soon ?take care.

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  35. I loved the image you painted of the way Father must have been smiling down on you during your conversation. What a lovely mother. What a wonderful father. What a blessed baby. And I'm sure the continued adoption process will be such a blessing too your family too! I couldn't be more excited for you!

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    1. Thank you so much. The way you mother is so inspiring to me!!!

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  36. I've just read your story and I am blown away. I don't normally get moved by blogs but you really got me. When I stumbled across your blog I kept reading as I saw you live in Franklin. I was there just last year as my cousin lives there. I loved it. Reading on I read that your husband grew up in the Black Forest. When I am not at university in the UK I live in Basel in Switzerland, a short drive from there. It is such a small world. I'm hooked to your blog already, can't wait to read on..
    Jessie Kay
    www.imake2.blogspot.com

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  37. I just read all your "love story" posts. You made me laugh, you made me cry. Such a beautiful story! I just got married and can share in a lot of the feelings and things that you talked about. You are such an inspiration and I cannot wait to keep reading!! :)
    Teri-
    www.lastkeycreations.blogspot.ca

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