It's been a while since I've written you a letter.
Friday, March 22, 2013
As I write this, it's nearing 1:00am and it's high time I head to my warm bed and cuddle in beside your dad. But instead, I'm re-reading the handful of letters I wrote to you when you were inside my belly.
I started writing to you when you were barely the size of a blueberry. It's amazing to read that just days after we found out about you, I already had a strong feeling you were a boy! What a handsome boy you are. I think it's so interesting that no stranger has ever mistaken you for a girl. Even if you aren't wearing blue, they'll say, "What a darling little boy!" or "How old is he?"
In one of my letters, I questioned if I would be enough for you. It's the question that haunted me for months as I anticipated your birth into the world and my birth into motherhood. It's the question I've asked a lot in the last few hectic weeks. We've been working some long hours, the two of us. Actually, I've been working hard while you play across the room in your exersaucer or practice rolling or putting things in your mouth that shouldn't go there. But as I work, I often glance in your direction and call your name until our eyes meet. As soon they do, you tuck your chin down and look up at me with a gummy grin that just melts me. That look from you tells me pretty clearly, "Mom, you're enough." It's a look you've only given to me so far, and that means the world. In the midst of this crazy busy time, it's a reassurance from you that blesses me to my toes.
That baby I wrote to for all those months? You're so much more wonderful than I dreamed he'd be. And if you're making mommy this proud and choked up at just 4 months old, I'll be a mess and a half once you start walking and talking and doing big things for Jesus.
I believe in you, my little man. And I love you so much. Thank you for making my days sweeter than I imagined they could be.