A new season.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

There are days that feel like motherhood has swallowed me whole. When I lay my head on the pillow and the only fruit I can see from my day is the wiping of crumbs, the reading and re-reading of the same books, the participating in story time at the library, the saying "no, sir" for the umpteenth time. Visions of to-do lists and personal goals have been buried deep in a sea of toddlerhood.

For the longest time... well, since the beginning of time as far as Liam was concerned... I've been balancing a very demanding small business with motherhood. I've had a lot of help along the way, and have made it work. Somewhat. I thought it would feel more fulfilling, proving to myself that I could balance a business while being a mom at the same time. That having a baby wasn't stripping me of everything.

But when we looked at our budget recently and realized there's another way to make it through this season, putting our house on the market couldn't have felt more right. And when we sold our house in a day, it's like I could finally take a deep, cleansing breath and say hello to mothering without guilt. And surprisingly, it already feels like bliss. 

I'll always need a creative outlet and plan to continue certain aspects of the business, but Brighter Day became so much more than just a creative outlet. Ironically, it became less and less creative over time, replaced by hard work, business taxes, demanding custom orders, and the occupation of 75% of my time and 90% of my headspace. 

When I look back on these days, especially through photos, I see so much more than the crumbs on his face or that his juice spilled all over the floor after these were taken. I see that he's growing up in the blink of an eye, demanding to sit in a chair without a booster seat. And he's big enough to start telling jokes. 

Me: What does a duck say?
Him: Moo. (Giggles)
Me: What does a sheep say?
Him: Moooo! (Lots more giggles)


I see that there's no one that he'd rather spend his days with than Mommy.

I am thrilled about this new season. Instead of fighting these long days and being torn between tending to customers and tending to my son, the choice is already made. I'll be able to take the business at my own pace, in my own time. I'll able to focus on the creative outlets that I enjoy and close down the ones that are most draining.

 Yes, our choice to move to a smaller place that's further out in order to live more simply isn't one everyone understands. But it couldn't have been clearer to us.

4 comments:

  1. ok, yes, made me cry...love u!

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  2. So sweet! Just a follower/admirer but couldn't be more happy for you! Hope you'll still visit downtown Raleigh often and your new home has many lovely attributes as well! :)

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  3. What a beautiful new season. I love when everything comes together like that.

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  4. you sound like you're making the right choice -- i'm so happy for you, whitney. these are precious pictures, too.

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