Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Tonight our family of three roamed the halls of our local mall while Mommy timed her contractions. Your little sister's arrival is imminent, and somehow, I'm watching your two-year-old mind begin to grasp that. You've been more tender toward me than ever and it's making the idea of adding a fourth member to our family even harder. When you pull me to the couch and ask, "sit Mommy? Cozy Mommy?" then pull the blanket up to our chins, I can't imagine anyone else being my baby. Of course I'm thrilled to meet your sister soon and I know my heart will nearly explode when I see you two together. But the change is coming fast and it's harder to wrap my mind around than I imagined it would be.
At one point tonight, as I limped stiffly through a contraction, you turned around and saw my tear-streaked face. My view of you and Daddy would soon contain another person, and it was a hard pill to swallow. You reached for me, looked into my watery eyes, gave me your best double-dimpled smile and shouted, "Siwwy mommy!"
The thing is, you're absolutely right. It was probably silly for me to cry in the hospital, moments before your birth, and grieve the end of "just Shawn and Whitney." The moment I pulled you to my chest and breathed in your warm, wet skin, I couldn't imagine our family without you. It's silly for me to be sad now, knowing full well that adding another heartbeat to our family is going to make us all better, more complete.
Still, you'll always be my first baby. Don't ever forget.
I adore you, sweet boy,