Over the past several months, this little blog space has been more sparse than usual. As I stood under the steaming shower head this morning (where I think all of my deepest thoughts), I tried to figure out why.
My plate is full, yes. Yours is too, no doubt. But what I'm finding in this season is the need to be mentally present more than ever before. It's one thing to care for a baby - to meet her needs for constant nursing, full diapers, and stimulation. It's another to care for the heart and mind of a toddler: a two-year-old, in our case, who is stunningly verbal and wants you to respond to everything he says to make sure you understand him. By the end of the day - a day full of meal planning and cooking and cleaning and errands and library trips and constant conversation with my favorite buddy - I am spent. Poured out in every way. Add to that being 38 weeks pregnant and it makes sense why I wouldn't be thinking deep thoughts by 10pm when I sit down to write. It's a season, and it isn't worth trading for anything.
A few months ago, Shawn and I attended an event at our church for some of the church leaders and their spouses. The pastor who spoke was elicit in his encouragement to those who work with children. I wish I could've recorded his words and didn't have to paraphrase them, but in summary, he said, "To those who spend their days singing to babies and praying over them; to those who open the Scriptures with their toddlers while they play trucks; you are propelling the Gospel forward. Yours is kingdom work."
Oh, how I needed those words. I know I'll need them in a few weeks when we've added a newborn to the mix. I fight with voices in my head that I could be doing more valuable things with my time: making more money, stretching my mind, using the gifts I've been given for such bigger purposes. And then I hear the timely words of an older, wiser brother - and I look into the eyes of a little boy named Liam - and I realize that what I'm doing now is more valuable than perhaps anything I've ever done. To show him Jesus and to guide him into truth - there is simply no higher calling.
I'm praying for you today, mama friends. I'm praying that as you scrub another dish and answer another question and wonder if it all matters, that the Spirit would speak into your soul that it does. That this work you're doing is eternal.