Friday, March 23, 2012

First letter to baby.

Written March 10, 2012
Dear baby of mine,


From the moment you announced your presence with a vivid, cobalt blue + sign, I was in shock. I had hoped for you in my heart someday, but wasn't exactly expecting you right now. But you're here, just beneath my skin. They say you'll double in size this week, and I think that's pretty impressive. You're real, you're growing like a weed, and the reality of you and excitement for you is settling in a little more every day.

Often Every night, I wake up around 2am to go to the bathroom, and as soon as I crawl back into bed, my heart begins to race with thoughts of you. Big thoughts.

Are you a boy or a girl? I have a strong hunch that you're a boy, but no real reason to think either way. I just can't picture you as a girl. I promise I'll be so excited either way!

Will you look like your daddy? I sure hope so. A little Shawn look-alike running around would be just about the best thing ever. I definitely picture you with lots of blond hair as a little person, just like both your mommy and your daddy.

Will I be enough for you? This is definitely the scariest thought of them all. I've always wanted to be a mom at some point, but I've never felt called to be a stay-at-home-all-the-time mom. I honestly think I will be a better mom to you if I'm also working and doing things that make me feel alive. The balancing act that we will inevitably juggle scares me, but I'm thankful for your Dad, your Mimi and Poppy, and the many friends you already have that will be glad to pinch your cheeks and stare at you for a couple of hours while Mommy gets work done. I hope this doesn't disappoint you, but inspires you. And I hope that it, indeed, makes me a better mom for you.

When these thoughts become overwhelming, I ask Jesus to take the weight of them from me, and I pray. I lay my hands on my belly and pray that you are safe and healthy, that you will know the incredible love Jesus has for you even now, and that you will be a godly man or woman who lives with passion and intention. I know it's a lot to ask, but God is big enough. And those are all the things I hope for you.

Considering you're the size of a blueberry, it looks like we've got a long way to go, you and me. But here's the thing... I really love you. I didn't know I'd have the capacity to love a person the size of a blueberry the way I do, but it's true... you've already stolen a big piece of me, and I don't want it back.

Your adoring, still very surprised Mom

Post edit: Thank you all so, so much for being excited with us! It definitely makes it all the more real and the anticipation for our little one even stronger. I so appreciate your encouragement, your prayers, and your joy!


  1. Beautiful! Will you find out the sex at the 20week scan? Or leave it as a surprise at the birth? I am glad you still admit you are shocked, I think I would be the same - But it seems expected that the shock should turn into excitement really fast. You are going to be an awesome Mom, working or not, it is what works best for you and baby, it toally makes sense if working keeps you 'alive' and sane lol

    1. Thanks Amy! Yes, we will definitely find out... we're planning on a "gender party" where the ultrasound technician will a friend who will bake a cake that's pink or blue so that Shawn and I and our family and friends can all find out at the same time (when we cut into the cake at the party). :) We're so excited about this part!

    2. Oh my gosh what a cool idea! Then you aren't tempted to give it away! I shall be following closely :)

  2. I'm so excited for you! I saw an idea on pinterest to take a picture of your stomach and the fruit of the size of the baby. ( Just an idea for you to try :)

  3. GAHHHHH. I'm so happy for you, Whitney. I miss your post for a few days and then BAM. This!!! =) I will be praying for all three of you <3

  4. Wow!!!! Whitney, like many of your faithful readers, I feel as if I know you. I read your blog every weekend - just to stay caught up and inspired. So - tonight, when I got to your blog to see the "letter to baby" post, I thought you were talking about the adoption! If I'm shocked, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling!!! So - I started reading the last three posts in chronological order. My prayers are with you for a safe and healthy pregnancy! Blessings! God's timing is always perfect, isn't it? You and Shawn will be wonderful parents. Now, I'll start checking your blog daily because look what happens when I wait a week!!!!!

    1. Hahaha I can almost promise you no huge life updates until next weekend... so don't feel like you have to check in every day. :)

  5. What a sweet letter to your precious blessing... Love it!

  6. I read this letter a couple of days ago and have been thinking about it-what a lovely letter to write! You are going to be an amazing mom and you and your husband will find your greatest joy in this new little life that has begun. Congratulations! :)

  7. I just cried a little bit. This is so beautiful and such a great idea. I will definitely be writing letters when my husband and I decide to have a baby.

  8. This is beautiful! I love it.