|Terrible phone pic taken last week. We've yet to take a real picture of the belly. I'll get on that! :)|
To be honest, it's been an interesting transition as I watch my body morph into what it is right now. I have a little baby bump and have still only gained just under 2 pounds, but everything seems to be shifting quite dramatically so I am looking pregnant.
I spent a couple afternoons this week looking for a graduation dress and felt my heart sink a bit every time I tried a new dress and it fit very... oddly. I know I'm not even that huge yet, but it's been harder for me to accept than I expected. I really thought those first little pats on the belly from friends would be so exciting, but more than that, they remind me of what my body isn't. And trust me, I realize that's not the healthiest perspective.
I prayed about it this morning, which I should've done days ago, feeling pretty petty for offering up such a humble prayer. But it's my body - the one I have to carry around all day, which feels especially awkward when jogging - and I know that if it matters to me, it somehow matters to God. I needed a perspective change. The Lord was faithful to meet me and saturate me with his presence, and he helped me to remember just how much I have to be thankful for. I know that there are many, many women who hope and pray to have a baby inside, and for their bodies to change the way mine is changing. And I was reminded that my body was made for this! To grow and to stretch and to house a human soul. What an incredible, beautiful miracle.
I know that the ill-fitting clothes and probably some stretch marks are here to stay for a while. But I'm more ok with that today than I have been for weeks. Little E is healthy and growing, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Thank you, Jesus.