Happy Mother's Day.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Lanie, at three, has a few sweet phrases that I wish would stay locked in her vocabulary forever. Upon entering a room, she begins almost every sentence with, "I jesh..."

"I jesh want you to hold me."
"I jesh fell down and hurt myself," as she limps in the room with her thumb hanging out of her mouth.
And my all-time favorite... "I jesh need my momma." This one comes at a wide variety of times, whether she's just scraped her knee, she's stalling before bedtime, or she comes upstairs from playing and hasn't seen me for a few minutes. My heart swells at her "jesh" needing me, and frankly, I get it. I just need my momma too sometimes. Maybe now more than ever.

When I was 16 years old, I was involved in a serious car accident in Texas and miraculously walked away with only minor injuries. A few months later, I found out I was being sued by the other driver. I had briefly blacked out during the accident, so I couldn't even remember the whole sequence of events and was terrified to go to court. Mom and I flew to Dallas for a deposition, and what I remember most was not how frightening it was to record my testimony or be cross examined by a ruthless lawyer, but how Mom helped me to cling to the Word. This verse still sticks in my mind from Psalm 37: "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." We memorized it together and repeated it endlessly because we had to trust that He would act.

At age 26, in labor with Liam, I called Mom in the middle of the night to let her know, "This is it." I was in active labor and knew our boy was coming within a few hours. By early morning, Shawn had fallen asleep in the chair after being awake all night, and I tried to rest with an oxygen mask on as Liam's heart rate had dipped a bit during labor. Mom came and sat next to me in my hospital bed in the early morning hours, just oozing excitement for her first grandson to arrive. When I started to push, she waited outside the door (much to the chagrin of hospital staff), waiting to hear that very first cry. A few minutes later, she did.

When we decided to move to Raleigh, we'd been living with my parents for a couple months and the night before we moved, it hit me like a ton of bricks. 'I may never live under the same roof as my parents again,' I realized. Of course it was natural... I'd been married for almost 5 years and had a son. But the little girl in me still needed her momma.

Last June, I called my mom to tell her my water was leaking and our third baby would be born that very day, two weeks early. It was surreal as I wasn't having any contractions. But before he was even born, Mom bought a plane ticket and made it in time to meet Brooks on his birthday.

As a mom myself, I realize more and more each year how I just need my Mom. I need her to share in my joys, my pain, my mundane. I need her friendship, her wisdom, her insights from the Word, and her reminder that "This is truly just a season."

I love you dearly, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. 


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